My Disease as an outsider Looking in

I couple weeks ago, I got  watch my disease in action as I was invited to join a family for dinner and drinks. I watched the painful disintegration of a family though an outsiders eyes, as alcohol turned a seemingly nice person into a monster berating her children and spewing venom. It is a terrible thing to witness, but I am glad to have watched it because sometimes I forget about the hypnotic effect. For every party where everyone is smiling, there is the one where everyone is crying. I also spent some time watching another group's weekend turn from an amazing trip to just sitting around as one co-dependent  cleans up after a stumbling squirrel. I am currently not sober but close to it, I am aware of myself and I struggle on, it is hard to say no but easy not to buy in.