Faith and Failure

DISCLAIMER: I am copying these down exactly as written, most of this I do not remember writing and it also has religious discussion, so disregard if that bothers you. I am waiting for the atheist and christian right hate mail.


Day 1

I was offered a ride from Kingman, Az to the us 93 and after a 3 miles, I departed the vehicle and started walking. Two miles later I was picked up by a veteran named John who was in Vegas to visit his incarcerated wife. He lives in Idaho, now while it would have been easy on me to accept his ride to Idaho, I instead choose to part ways in Alamo, NV. Although I could have sat and discussed sleep cycles, free market economy, and the political bullshit of the justice system. For the next 10 hours or so.
       From this point I walked 7 miles or so to the next town "Ash Springs". Where upon arriving I was run out of town, so to speak. A nice older gentleman explained to where the BLM land was next to the "world famous" Ash Springs.

 As the day is closing I am at a small lagoon watching a family swim, writing this about to set up my tent. I am physically exhausted and emotionally spent. I have been here before. My destination seems further away then when I started. All is in doubt.

Day 2

Last night was amazing. I slept in the desert under the stars,and woke to the beauty of the daybreak. It is amazing this world!!! Late last night I had an in depth conversation with myself; trying to understand and comprehend, how our brains know what to do? How does life know how to exist and be "life"? I mean really how does it know? It just made me reconfirm my faith in a higher power, something had to create the wiring to know all this. I honestly believe in 200 years when machines take over they will wonder the same thing. They will forget the humans that created them, the humans whom they slowly replaced and exterminated.
I am not a religious zealot, by any means. I just accept the fact that life, the actual being that is life, is amazing. I also accept that humans are not the end all be all, I also accept most of the teachings of the bible because without the moral lessons contained within we (humans) would have killed each other off long ago. I also agree with the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth because he taught love, acceptance, and forgiveness.
Although in general, I do belive that organized worship much like organized patriotism is controllist bullshit. It is up to the individual to choose how they believe and practice.

Day 2 began, not just like any other day. I packed up my tent/gear and  walked over to the Ash Springs. Several people were there, I was friendly to all and talked to a couple. I proceeded to head North on the highway, soon after my start I was pulled over, well not really pulled over because I was already on the side of the road, so I guess I was stopped, by a nice Nevada Highway Patrolman. A short discussion in-sued and I was on my way. I walked about 4 miles and decided to stop, I have an inability to sit still and kept walking. I did sit for a few hours trying to get another ride, this was a failure. After about 7 miles of walking and 5 hours of sitting, I gave up, now I know I am a failure in this mission, but I learned valuable lessons for next time.
          I walked 7 miles back to The gas station in Ash Springs and the first person I spoke to, took me back to my van. I have been resting for a couple days and the soreness is gone. I will be leaving again soon. It is weird how soon we forget, this morning I woke up and almost start walking North again, after 2 days in bed trying to regain feeling in my legs.


Oh well Love you all. Thanks for reading??