Monday, June 4, 2012
Same Battle, New Battlefield
I arrived in Jackson, WY on May 14th and started a new position with the Flagg Ranch Company, I am working in the kitchen as a cook. It is interesting to say the least, the job is the same as every other cooking job, so I will not go into the details. The best part of living here is meeting the International students there are a bunch of kids here from Bulgaria and a few from Russia, they
are fun to hang out with and as most of you know, I love foreigners.
The worst part of being here is that my daily battles are returning, I find myself consuming mass quantities and waking up in different rooms. the struggle is here and it seems as though I am surrounded by a fair amount of persons with the same issues, lost in the woods without communication with no recourse but to drink.
I am sick and tired of being sick tired as the cliche goes, the constant shaky mornings, and endless nights. Cloudy days and darker nights. I am starting to wonder if this will end well, it can't possibly, but I am far from bottom just teetering on the edge of sanity. Currently, I am trying to find a more constructive way to spend my time, but most of my days without drinking just feel empty as usual, I have met some great people, and hope to make real connections, but the only people I really like to talk to do not quite understand English and the others see me as I am/was my first impression seems to have made an imprint and now as I try to clean out, I find it difficult as drink are constantly handed to me. This battle I will win and I will return to center. Sorry , for being such a downer, but only the dark times have been burnt into my memory.
I love you all.