Thursday, March 15, 2012

This is a week late, but I had no access

Why are girls so much smarter than Boys ( long story)

To explain the title we will start like this, 2 girls arrived on the farm this week, so it is me and the 2 of them as volunteers. From the start of the first day something seemed off with them, they appeared unmotivated and lazy, but ok, after lunch they headed back to their room job unfinished. I thought, it is the first day, they are tired no big deal, but when a pattern began to emerge I figured it out, they are girls nobody wants to tell them what to do. Just as I figured girls are smatter than boys these girls discovered a way to get the same food and room as I with less work, WTF. I have been resentfull these last couple days becuase the true flaw with Communism is one guy works 10 hours a day and the others do 5. The 10 hours guy gets upset and either starts a coup or a revolution. As I type this I have come to grips with my resentment and decided all is well; prehaps it is because i want to belive communism can work or they cast thier spell on me as well or because I am a push over and persons take advantage of that fact and I am too easy going and forgiving, but what i am going to do.

That is my week in a nutshell, feeling overworked and under appriciated, but it is cool because now I am drunk and happy. I think my facist leader knows to keep the hard workers over sedated, but it works for me.

I also have lost my glasses and my debit card, so I have no money, no eyes, and no clue as to what is going on.

I have also began to doubt my life choices because a week with no one who speaks the same language as you leaves you alot of time to think. I joined another dating website inhope to find the "one" . I know I started backwards by hitting the road first and then looking for the one, but that is my life. Who wants to date a homeless idealist who want to save the world??? Maybe someone I know one person I would like a date with, but do not know if we will meet before she finds her "one" she is truly awesome and I am getting a little creepster, so I will stop here.

Anyway my drunken ramblings will have to suffice for now. I really love you all

Then I drank more and typed this., Then I let one one the french girls shave my epic beard.

As my Solferino adventure comes to an end I wonder if I learned anything at all other than how to get blackout drunk and open a beer properly? While my expeirences in Mexico have been short and I have yet to get a true grasp on the language, if I head out today looking back I will have regrets but can I do it again, or do I head into the real world with a fucking goal and not just a dream. While fullfilling that goal am I bound to forget about my other dreams as the reality of starting my own community becomes real, I do not know that I will ever be able to get away again I could become so consumed with the idealisism of my own community and engulfed in the work that I just become a byproduct of the system and yes it will still be on my own terms, but it is still falling into the system that scares me, working everyday just like they want you to. "They" that is an interesting word in and of itself "they" it seems as though they have been the enemy since day one. "They want me to go to bed early", "They want me to do this", "they said no" , fuck "they" control everything. I wish i could escape "they", but they are everywhere. I cannot get away from them. I am so lost in this world and wish to getlost more and fear has snuck into my life. fear of poverty, fear of hunger I cannot go on this cycle of fear today i need to find my balance

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